“This heist is a #gamble,” she said, pulling her hair into a #ponytail. “We won’t have the #luxury of time, and we’ll have to be dead #silent.” “It won’t #bloom for another ten years, and I’ll never finish #graduate school without a corpse flower.” Botany, she thought. Who knew.
Tag Archives: funny
Ships and Shoes and Sealing Wax?
“It is a #conundrum,” he said, spinning a #coin on the table. “Like the #walrus or the carpenter.” “What?” He shook his head pityingly. “Your profile said you liked poetry.” “Bathroom!” I left the “#high-profile attorney” to his fancy coffee and slipped out the back door.
Mind the Gap
Accepting a date with this tourist had been a mistake. “I love the way you talk here.’Mind the #gap,’ what does that even mean? Adorable.” She stepped around the dimensional portal in the sidewalk and looked back. Oh, dear. He hadn’t minded the gap. #whistpr
Check That Island Off The List
“Come on, #open the train #window. It’s a #barrier to having a good #palaver.” “Well, yes, you’re going into #exile.” “Don’t be #stern. I had no idea your #culture was so unreasonable.” “He shouldn’t have grabbed your bottom, but you turned him into a puddle of goo!”
#brieflywrite #bravewrite #vssdaily #366FF #vss365 #whistpr #vssmagic
A Sharp Look at Dating
“I started the dating profile to find that #spark of #connection I had with Brad, before they did that serial killer podcast about him. But it’s such a #pure tool for #revenge! I can #replay every relationship I’ve ever had by picking similar guys and bringing a sharp knife.”
#flexvss #vssdaily #vssmagic #brieflywrite
A Working Lunch
“Now, the really #daring bit–”
The waiter appeared. Again. “The dressing is #enriched with a #wildflower extract–”
“Thank you.”
“Fresh ground pepper?”
“No.”
“Planning the #invasion during #lunch wasn’t your best idea, dear.”
#vssmagic #366FF #bravewrite #whistpr #vss365
Teenagers in this galaxy, am I right?
“You used the #filter, right?” Zax asks before taking a sip. “Duh, of course, Dad.” “It #unites with the toxic #element in this planet’s water so we don’t #lose our ability to absorb oxygen and die.” With a heavy sigh, Sarq takes back the cup. ##vss365 #whistpr #vssmagic #flexvss
Don’t Take Your Onion Farmers For Granted
“Welcome to the Obscure History #Club meeting. Today Margo presents on the #Onion #Insurrection of 1526.” “Thank you, Pete. This is a real-life #fable of underseasoned stew, #defiant farmers, and #optimistic palace cooking staff unfamiliar with how to identify poisonous roots.”
#flexvss #whistpr #bravewrite #vssmagic #brieflywrite #366FF
War of the Roses, With Velociraptors
“What’s #vexing you, Vidalia Rose?” “This #vendetta. I can’t remember how it started and the #vandalism…a #kangaroo #stuck in the bathroom? The blind adherence to #tradition has gone off the rails.” “After they let loose that #velociraptor, dear? How quickly we forget.”
#vss365 #whistpr #flexvss #366FF
Destiny in a Sculpin Sparkle
Lucy’s psychic had sent her here to find her true love? “I’ll have the happy hour special.” The barkeep opened a bottle of #bubbly. “Did you just #throw a #fish in there?” “Well, yeah, can’t make a Sculpin Sparkle without the sculpin!” #366FF #flexvss #whistpr
Words words words 