Don’t Take Your Onion Farmers For Granted

“Welcome to the Obscure History #Club meeting. Today Margo presents on the #Onion #Insurrection of 1526.” “Thank you, Pete. This is a real-life #fable of underseasoned stew, #defiant farmers, and #optimistic palace cooking staff unfamiliar with how to identify poisonous roots.”

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Inheritance

As the #vultures circled the #gallimaufry of Aunt Meg’s estate, Liz found the loose #fireplace brick Aunt Meg had promised would bring an #epiphany. What was wrapped in this #new #babushka, in a dark corner among the #splendour? A brass key and a book: Meg’s Potions and Spells.

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Modern Art

“It’s the #unity of humanity’s #vanguard marching at the #winter #solstice through the #isolation of a heavy #snow.” “Is that…a big #bug with doorknobs for its shoulders, knees, and toes?” “Yes, for leaving the door to our original thoughts #ajar.” “It’s #original, for sure.”

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Bringing Home the Tree

The #flurries turn into a #blizzard as he trudges into the #evergreen forest. He #focuses on a tall, full pine standing #stalwart. “This one is #mine,” he says, raising his #ax. “May I help you, sir?” The daydream clears and Steve is once again standing in Home Depot.

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North Pole Progressives

The newest #apprentice to the gift-#wrapping #elves corps stared at the #snowman outside the transport #tunnel. “Is that a #purple scarf?” he asked, wincing as if in #pain. “Yeah, Santa had a “Red and Green Only” rule but some guy sued and the Elf Court #overturned it.”

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